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I feel really vulnerable when people see my plants and say… | Anything about plants 🇺🇸 | Planta-Community

Jhenna

I feel really vulnerable when people see my plants and say unwarranted things like “you’re using the wrong soil,” or “you shouldn’t do that to your plants,” “your plants don’t look that great.” Listen, Linda, most of my life my mental health was so bad that it was a wonder I kept myself alive. The past year of my life i have finally achieved being more stable; the fact that I’m able to keep several plants alive is something I’m proud of. I’m no plant guru, but I have found a hobby that makes me happy and I’m learning!

60 Likes 28 Kommentare

28 Kommentare

  1. Mandrakes&More

    I definitely agree. If a plant is doing fine, then who cares about the little things. I always tell people who ask me, with plants it’s really not about doing everything by the book, it’s doing what works for you. And if it makes you happy, who cares if you’re even killing plants? Growing and changing, and being happy, are the two most important things in plant care! Good job!

    5 Likes
    • Jhenna

      Thank you for this! I always say I’m growing out of love. Have I killed a couple of plants along the way? 🫣 yes, but that is part of the learning experience for me.

      6 Likes
    • Mandrakes&More

      I’ve killed my fair share, even the experts have. Anyone who has a podcast or YouTube channel will tell you they still kill plants. That’s not even close to the important part 🩷

      2 Likes
    • Jhenna

      Well that’s encouraging 🥹🫶🏼

      2 Likes
  2. Nutshell

    Couldn’t agree more. It’s not a science project it’s our HOBBY!

    3 Likes
    • Jhenna

      🫶🏼 🌱

      1 Like
  3. Shazzy’s Garden

    Hi Jenna, having plants is such a joy. Don’t worry I have put 45 plants in the graveyard over the last 3 years but I just buy or propagate more. It’s a learning curve and one that I thoroughly enjoy. Keep up the great work

    5 Likes
    • Jhenna

      Thank you 🥹 I’m feeling much better! I felt like the odd one out sometimes, but it’s nice to have community here.

      1 Like
  4. Shazzy’s Garden

    Your plants look gorgeous. I love the English ivy

    2 Likes
    • Jhenna

      Thank you! 😊 that makes me happy to hear. The English ivy is one of my newest. I wanted one that would climb!

      1 Like
  5. Tracy Lee

    Amen!! Unsolicited advice isn’t welcome!! 💚💚

    4 Likes
    • Jhenna

      🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

      1 Like
  6. Waspinator

    They're only trying to help you. Sometimes if you've had a hard time in life, you'll interpret neutral (anything not obviously positive) interactions as negative. Part of being kind to yourself is learning how to see neutral as neutral

    5 Likes
    • Luke

      When it comes to providing constructive criticism (especially unsolicited), it is absolutely the onus of the provider of the feedback to frame it in a way that can't be construed negatively, even if "neutral". I work in code development, which often requires that kind of feedback and often results in blunt/quick phrases, but "neutral" comments like that degrade the psychological safety needed to collaborate effectively. Rule number 1 of code review is to keep a positive tone and provide praise whenever possible. That is what needs to happen more often and is usually lacking in the kind of comments that the OP is talking about.

      6 Likes
    • 🪴April🪴

      Well said 🙂

      2 Likes
    • Jhenna

      I mean honestly if they were trying to help, they’d offer helpful advice rather than just pointing out the negative.

      4 Likes
    • Waspinator

      Clumsy phrasing does not indicate intent. Plenty of things are linguistically phrased in the negative "don't do ___" while having absolutely no negativity towards the person. 🤦‍♀️

      2 Likes
  7. Tam

    Aaaaaand most of the time people say things that aren’t even true. “Your plants need cinnamon” errr no they dont, calm down. I feel like it’s just a way of exerting a kind of matriarchal authority over another person

    4 Likes
  8. Beauty

    What who would say these things?? Not cool I too myself fell in love with plants because of my mental health wasn’t good. I had one now I have 69. There’s no right way but in a plants natural habitat to grow a plant . Keep going forward in life and keep growing and spread your plant care cause we all are learning . 😘

    3 Likes
    • Jhenna

      Helping my plants definitely helped me help myself, too! It really has been a beautiful journey.

      2 Likes
  9. Stefanie Cooper

    I feel ya completely!!!

    2 Likes
  10. 🪴April🪴

    I think your plants look happy 🙂

    2 Likes
    • Jhenna

      Thank you. I try to keep them happy. I know I could always do better, but that’s the beautiful part of the journey.

      1 Like