--- title: "I feel really vulnerable when people see my plants and say…" description: "I feel really vulnerable when people see my plants and say unwarranted things like “you’re using the wrong soil,” or “you shouldn’t do that to your plants,”…" url: "https://getplanta.com/community/lZ7uAE3pQ86jnFGxrCwLrg/fbTqvEmyfxfPFiTKCW9msG" community: "Anything about plants" author: "Jhenna" published: "2026-10-19T03:39:45.808879Z" language: "en" image: "https://images.getplanta.com/v2/cloudinary/global_data/communities/everythingHousePlants.jpg" --- [Community](https://getplanta.com/community.md) / [Anything about plants](https://getplanta.com/community/lZ7uAE3pQ86jnFGxrCwLrg.md) # I feel really vulnerable when people see my plants and say… _Posted by Jhenna on 2026-10-19_ I feel really vulnerable when people see my plants and say unwarranted things like “you’re using the wrong soil,” or “you shouldn’t do that to your plants,” “your plants don’t look that great.” Listen, Linda, most of my life my mental health was so bad that it was a wonder I kept myself alive. The past year of my life i have finally achieved being more stable; the fact that I’m able to keep several plants alive is something I’m proud of. I’m no plant guru, but I have found a hobby that makes me happy and I’m learning! ## 28 comments ### Mandrakes\&More commented on 2026-10-19 I definitely agree. If a plant is doing fine, then who cares about the little things. I always tell people who ask me, with plants it’s really not about doing everything by the book, it’s doing what works for you. And if it makes you happy, who cares if you’re even killing plants? Growing and changing, and being happy, are the two most important things in plant care! Good job! #### Jhenna replied on 2026-10-19 Thank you for this! I always say I’m growing out of love. Have I killed a couple of plants along the way? 🫣 yes, but that is part of the learning experience for me. #### Mandrakes\&More replied on 2026-10-19 I’ve killed my fair share, even the experts have. Anyone who has a podcast or YouTube channel will tell you they still kill plants. That’s not even close to the important part 🩷 #### Jhenna replied on 2026-10-19 Well that’s encouraging 🥹🫶🏼 ### Nutshell commented on 2026-10-19 Couldn’t agree more. It’s not a science project it’s our HOBBY! #### Jhenna replied on 2026-10-19 🫶🏼 🌱 ### Shazzy’s Garden commented on 2026-10-19 Hi Jenna, having plants is such a joy. Don’t worry I have put 45 plants in the graveyard over the last 3 years but I just buy or propagate more. It’s a learning curve and one that I thoroughly enjoy. Keep up the great work #### Jhenna replied on 2026-10-19 Thank you 🥹 I’m feeling much better! I felt like the odd one out sometimes, but it’s nice to have community here. ### Shazzy’s Garden commented on 2026-10-19 Your plants look gorgeous. I love the English ivy #### Jhenna replied on 2026-10-20 Thank you! 😊 that makes me happy to hear. The English ivy is one of my newest. I wanted one that would climb! ### Tracy Lee commented on 2026-10-19 Amen!! Unsolicited advice isn’t welcome!! 💚💚 #### Jhenna replied on 2026-10-20 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 ### Waspinator commented on 2026-10-19 They're only trying to help you. Sometimes if you've had a hard time in life, you'll interpret neutral (anything not obviously positive) interactions as negative. Part of being kind to yourself is learning how to see neutral as neutral #### Luke replied on 2026-10-19 When it comes to providing constructive criticism (especially unsolicited), it is absolutely the onus of the provider of the feedback to frame it in a way that can't be construed negatively, even if "neutral". I work in code development, which often requires that kind of feedback and often results in blunt/quick phrases, but "neutral" comments like that degrade the psychological safety needed to collaborate effectively. Rule number 1 of code review is to keep a positive tone and provide praise whenever possible. That is what needs to happen more often and is usually lacking in the kind of comments that the OP is talking about. #### 🪴April🪴 replied on 2026-10-19 Well said 🙂 #### Jhenna replied on 2026-10-20 I mean honestly if they were trying to help, they’d offer helpful advice rather than just pointing out the negative. #### Waspinator replied on 2026-10-20 Clumsy phrasing does not indicate intent. Plenty of things are linguistically phrased in the negative "don't do \_\_\_" while having absolutely no negativity towards the person. 🤦‍♀️ ### Tam commented on 2026-10-19 Aaaaaand most of the time people say things that aren’t even true. “Your plants need cinnamon” errr no they dont, calm down. I feel like it’s just a way of exerting a kind of matriarchal authority over another person ### Beauty commented on 2026-10-19 What who would say these things?? Not cool I too myself fell in love with plants because of my mental health wasn’t good. I had one now I have 69. There’s no right way but in a plants natural habitat to grow a plant . Keep going forward in life and keep growing and spread your plant care cause we all are learning . 😘 #### Jhenna replied on 2026-10-20 Helping my plants definitely helped me help myself, too! It really has been a beautiful journey. ### Stefanie Cooper commented on 2026-10-19 I feel ya completely!!! ### 🪴April🪴 commented on 2026-10-19 I think your plants look happy 🙂 #### Jhenna replied on 2026-10-20 Thank you. I try to keep them happy. I know I could always do better, but that’s the beautiful part of the journey. [More comments](https://getplanta.com/community/lZ7uAE3pQ86jnFGxrCwLrg/fbTqvEmyfxfPFiTKCW9msG.md?cursor=mGV9DTUN4BhQb3N0cy5HZXRBbGwAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACmwFsFQw7iGA) --- _Source: the Planta community (https://getplanta.com). Reading is open to everyone. To post, comment and like, get the Planta app: https://getplanta.com/download_